The Grass Is Greener Where You Water It.

This is going to sort of be a diary post, if you don't like it don't read it.

Sometimes, being 21-years-old, married and having a six-month old child, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Even though I love my life, and never ever ever wish that it was any different, every once in a while I take a glance at what I think I would be doing if I hadn't been married or had a child. Usually this makes me feel really guilty, like I'm a bad mom or wife for even thinking about another life even though if it didn't happen this way now I would be wishing for it until it did happen, but today it made me feel really grateful.

I would definitely have more money. I would have more things, nicer clothes, nicer filming equipment. I'd have a nicer figure (because you may not know this, but having a baby does not give you a Victoria Secret body) and a lot more time to focus on me. My legs would be shaved and my eyebrows would be tweezed. I would probably spend a lot of time on the couch watching YouTube videos and reading books. Possibly a lot of time at the mall as well buying all those nice clothes and stuff I was mentioning earlier.

I'm sick right now, and I would be able to call off work and rest until I felt better.

But what does any of that really matter? Before I had a baby I never got the overwhelming joy I feel when I can work a smile out of my grumpy little girl. There is no way to describe watching her do something for the first time or taste a new food. Mornings that would have been spent sleeping in or drinking coffee at the table browsing through pinterest are now spent tossing a 15 pound hunk of cuteness into the air and pretending the passy is a snooze button to get her to go back to sleep for just five more minutes. If you think shopping for yourself is fun, wait until you get to pick out baby clothes and toys.

There is no bigger sense of accomplishment then getting to sit down in a clean house (although this happens rarely. Somehow, my five room apartment is a dumping ground of miscellaneous objects.) I really wouldn't trade my life for the world. And even though its nice to think about how much easier my life would be if it were different, it could in no way be better. After all, feeling hungover sucks.